A letter to those who I’ve hurt

I’m sorry.

I know, so general and simple. But it’s something I have to say before I lose my train of thought and start crying from how much this hurts to write.

I’m constantly reminded by my failures and regret. A day doesn’t go by when I don’t think about all my mistakes. We used to think of each other everyday and talk so often. I’d smile like a weird freak from just receiving a message or simply thinking about you. We’d laugh until we cried and had dreams that could touch the stars. But one day, I screwed up.

I don’t like excuses because at the end of the day, it’s the result that really stings. Despite my depression, I hurt you. I wasn’t by your side when you needed me. The trust between us has been tainted by my actions. And no amount of apology could ever tend to a broken soul. No matter how many times that cup could be filled, it’d simply drain from the holes and cracks I created.

If I could go back and slap some sense into my past self, I would. But nothing can change the past. Because what happened is now set in stone. No matter how much I wish upon the stars and pray that we could go back to what we had and even one day talk again like we used to. I know it’s only a dream. You’ve moved on. In all of this, I’ve always known that you deserved better. Better than what I believed I could ever give you. And so I hope you are doing well and that you’re happy. Because that’s all that matters now. Nothing else.

Thank you for all the joyful memories that we created together. Thank you for pulling me out of my darkest nights. Thank you for being so real with me. I’ll continue to keep my promise to you as nobody deserves to be alone, I’ll be there. Otherwise, I’ll sit here on the sidelines cheering and supporting you and your future a happy a fulfilling life.

Sincerely the one and only,

Victor